Post by Karen on Jan 24, 2014 1:16:43 GMT -5
Hello Justus,
My significant other and I are at an impasse.
His teen-age children live 200 miles away with their mother. Their parenting plan states that they are to spend every other weekend at home with him, and tht their mother is to drive them to a halfway point where he is to pick the children up and drive them back to their home with him.
This worked fairly well when they were younger, but now they are at an age where they are involved in sports and jobs on the weekends. So now he spends time with them by driving to their mother's town and sleeping at her house (with her there). While he is there, the 4 of them do things together, such as going on a bike ride. He and the children's mother usually get in at least one argument during the visit (in fact, last time he left early because of an argument).
I flat out do not want a significant other who sleeps at his ex-wife's house. There are nice rental cabins in her town. I suggested that he and I pool our money 50/50 so he could stay in a rental cabin with his children when he goes there. He's is opposed to that idea, saying he can't afford it. He has more disposable income than me, and so I believe that he can afford it. So I asked if I could go with him and stay at his ex-wife's, too, and he said no, because she wouldn't like it.
His solution is for us to break up until both children are 18. I believe that 18 won't automatically change things, and that the 4 of them will want to continue long after that to be together without "outsiders" on weekends and during holidays as they are now.
Can you think of a solution that might work for everyone involved? (At the moment, I have put a moratorium on this relationship while I try to see if there is a solution.)
Thank you.
My significant other and I are at an impasse.
His teen-age children live 200 miles away with their mother. Their parenting plan states that they are to spend every other weekend at home with him, and tht their mother is to drive them to a halfway point where he is to pick the children up and drive them back to their home with him.
This worked fairly well when they were younger, but now they are at an age where they are involved in sports and jobs on the weekends. So now he spends time with them by driving to their mother's town and sleeping at her house (with her there). While he is there, the 4 of them do things together, such as going on a bike ride. He and the children's mother usually get in at least one argument during the visit (in fact, last time he left early because of an argument).
I flat out do not want a significant other who sleeps at his ex-wife's house. There are nice rental cabins in her town. I suggested that he and I pool our money 50/50 so he could stay in a rental cabin with his children when he goes there. He's is opposed to that idea, saying he can't afford it. He has more disposable income than me, and so I believe that he can afford it. So I asked if I could go with him and stay at his ex-wife's, too, and he said no, because she wouldn't like it.
His solution is for us to break up until both children are 18. I believe that 18 won't automatically change things, and that the 4 of them will want to continue long after that to be together without "outsiders" on weekends and during holidays as they are now.
Can you think of a solution that might work for everyone involved? (At the moment, I have put a moratorium on this relationship while I try to see if there is a solution.)
Thank you.
