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Post by Kylie on Jan 30, 2014 19:10:26 GMT -5
JustUs,
I have been with my boyfriend for 18 months now. He can be so kind to me but he can also be so nasty and make me feel worthless. I find this so confusing and can't understand how two opposites can be in the same person. Lately I feel so on edge and I am scared of him. Last night he picked me up by my neck and asked if I was considering leaving him because he saw apartment finders books in my bag. I grab them earlier because I wanted to see where a friend of ours had moved. I had to cry and beg him to believe me, I honestly wasn't looking at that book to leave him. He said he didn't know what he would do if I left. He said he could kill himself without a doubt if he gets too depressed. I don't know what to do. Help.P
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Post by JustUs on Jan 30, 2014 21:09:12 GMT -5
Kylie,
First you have to want to help yourself and obviously you do because you've reached out. That was your first step. Most abusers are power struck. They keep this power by keeping you weak. Don't go for the talk about him killing himself and if so, better him than you, right? You gotta involve family and friends because these type people are cowards, they isolate you first, then take advantage of your loneliness. Don't ever think someone can not be replaced. He found you right? And aren't you worthy? His behavior will only get worst because there was no repercussions for his previous actions. Now being that he is threatening his life, contact 1-800-273-8255. This is a suicidal hotline. They'll not only give you advice in how to respond to those negative threats but you can set up counseling with him as well. He says he doesn't want to lose you, make him prove it by getting himself help. As for him placing his hand around your neck, is a "NO! NO!" That is something you don't have to nor should you ever put up with. When your relationship is at a place where you're afraid of your mate, it's time for a change to take place.Below is a website to educate you on the signs and ways to deal with abusive behaviors. Read over this material and apply it to yourself where you see fit. Also introduce it to your friend as well. One of the first steps in the right direction is acknowledgment.Click Here!
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Post by Kylie on Feb 1, 2014 1:17:58 GMT -5
Thanks Justus. I have called the #800 and visited the site. I don't believe I'm a victim of abuse (he knows NOT to do it again) but the lady asked for me to keep the number just in case, I will. We will talk again and set up counseling for my boyfriend. I pray this will help.
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