Post by privateuser on Jan 2, 2014 13:17:56 GMT -5
Dear JustUs,
My 19-year-old daughter, "Erica," is planning to marry her 24-year-old boyfriend. I use the term "boyfriend" loosely because their relationship consists entirely of texting, talking on the phone and the Internet. There has been no dating or getting to know each other in person. Erica is intent on marrying this man even though he has lied to her several times in addition to having lied to us. I don't believe the lies have been traumatic but whatever his reasons, that signals a red flag. This man could be in some sort of institution and she not know it. She feels she really love him and is overly confident that he loves her too. She is so young and have so much life to live. I'm afraid she may spend it on some guy who cannot give her the love, support and affection that she needs. I do not want to see my daughter, my child, my baby go through life waiting for a serious disappointment.
I'm not sure how to handle this. She hid the relationship from us for more than six months. I realize Erica needs to make her own mistakes, but I'm not sure how to make her understand my very real concern about this.
I have raised other children who went through various phases of teenage rebellion, but we were able to reach a general compromise on all types of behavior. However, she is unwilling to discuss the possibility of waiting. Any advice would be appreciated.
My 19-year-old daughter, "Erica," is planning to marry her 24-year-old boyfriend. I use the term "boyfriend" loosely because their relationship consists entirely of texting, talking on the phone and the Internet. There has been no dating or getting to know each other in person. Erica is intent on marrying this man even though he has lied to her several times in addition to having lied to us. I don't believe the lies have been traumatic but whatever his reasons, that signals a red flag. This man could be in some sort of institution and she not know it. She feels she really love him and is overly confident that he loves her too. She is so young and have so much life to live. I'm afraid she may spend it on some guy who cannot give her the love, support and affection that she needs. I do not want to see my daughter, my child, my baby go through life waiting for a serious disappointment.
I'm not sure how to handle this. She hid the relationship from us for more than six months. I realize Erica needs to make her own mistakes, but I'm not sure how to make her understand my very real concern about this.
I have raised other children who went through various phases of teenage rebellion, but we were able to reach a general compromise on all types of behavior. However, she is unwilling to discuss the possibility of waiting. Any advice would be appreciated.
?? 
